The Wolfman

Ok so once again I need to ask.... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS!?!!?

I saw the trailer and thought "Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, and Emily Blunt....this should be pretty cool." No. It wasn't cool. It was horrible. It was like sitting and watching two trains on a collision course in slow motion, and you think "Ok this is gonna be nasty, but at least entertaining." And then the trains just pass each other, but still in slow motion... so not only is it anticlimactic, but the actual anti-climax was just horribly boring. You didn't even get to go "aw damn." You sat there and at the end you just said "Wait....nothing happened."

This movie was the most ridiculously uninspiring, predictable, and annoyingly bland piece of shit I've seen in a while. The story was non-sequiter and was dealing with an identity crisis most of the time. "Am I an action, a horror, a sci-fi? WHO AM I?!?!" The script was boring and had the worst entrances for characters imaginable. No character was developed at all. The visuals weren't even cool. The Wolfman looked like an angry monkey that got hit with a paddle.

Now mind you I saw the unrated extended version that had the extra 30 mins originally taken out of the theatrical version. For those of you who saw it in theaters, I'll saw a prayer for you in hopes that God will erase your memories.

God this movie sucked

5/10

Brooklyn's Finest

Directed by Antoine Fuqua, director of Training Day (see 4/24/10 post), Brooklyn's Finest is another visual and emotional rollercoaster about cops, what makes them strong and what makes them break. The movie follows three different cops played by Ethan Hawke, Richard Gere, and Don Cheadle. Ethan Hawke plays an unstable Narcotics agent looking for a way to provide for his family of 7. Richard Gere plays an alcoholic, washed out, suicidal, and uninspired cop 7 days before his retirement. Don Cheadle is an deep undercover cop slowly loosing grip of his identity.

The one thing you notice from the beginning is how emotional and damaged everyone in this movie is. Everyone has their demons and each actor delivers these emotional eruptions and slips perfectly. The script is well written and also flows very well, going from story to story with ease and fluidity. Every story change feels in place and well done. Each story is also very unique from the next, keeping the viewer interested and curious as to what would happen next. Also, unlike most films with parallel story lines, no story is stronger or better written/acted than the others. Each one is captivating and potent in all the elements that make a good film.

The only downfall of the movie was that this film isn't truly unique as a whole. Films about cops, corruption, and questionable ethics have been around since the dawn of the reel, so I didn't feel like I was being blown away by some new and exciting frontier. That being said, this film does the genre justice and can proudly sit with Training Day, Narc, and other great films in its class.

Also, a little tidbit that I liked: The movie does have an original score that's pretty epic. For the most part though, there isn't music in the film and when there is actual popular music, it's coming from a stereo somewhere in the movie itself. I just thought that was kinda cool.

Definitely pick this one up if you get the chance.

9.5/10

Tetro

Francis Ford Coppola as a director can be described in one word: badass. From The Godfather to Apocalypse Now, he has proven to be a master of multiple genres and multiple filming styles. In his latest film, Tetro, he returns to his dramatic epic roots and proves that he's still got it.

The movie is about a brother named Benjamin who goes to visit his brother, Angelo, renamed Tetro (played by Vincent Gallo). Determined to find out why the 20 yr older brother left him when he was little, Benjamin interjects himself into the life of his creative, cold, and misanthropic brother, and his girlfriend, Miranda. Digging into a past that is filled with rivalry, hatred, and dark family secrets, Benjamin learns more truths than he expected to find.

The movie's shot almost entirely in black and white with the flashbacks shot in color (kinda a reverse effect from the norm). The camera play with light, shadows, and fire is impressive and eerie. The first hour of the movie is confusing and seems to make no logical sense, making it kind of boring. But once the second half of the movie pick ups (almost at the exact middle of the movie), the story becomes very driving and interesting to watch unfold. Without the rather confusing and twisted beginning, the second half could pretty much not exist at all and wouldn't be anywhere near as amazing.

The movie is yet another brilliant piece that Coppola can proudly say is one of his own. It's only flaw being the confusing first half, this movie gets a 9/10.

Legion

Okay seriously what the fuck.

This movie was just bad. The dialog was choppy. The filming was shaky. The plot fluidity was pretty much non-existent. Even the acting was bad, which was unfortunate considering it didn't have a bad cast (this could have to do with the fact that I feel that everyone in this movie was miscast). The lighting was shit (most of the movie took place at night and one could not see ANYTHING). It was boring, nonsensical, cheesy, and the only good fight scene was when Michael (Paul Bettany) fought Gabriel (Kevin Durand) and that was simply because it was some good healthy old-fashioned Angel Ass-kicking. Also the ending was so anti-climactic, it made me wanna vomit my McDonalds.

All in all this movie is just bad. The only things that keeps it above 5 (anything below 5 is just horrible) were the visuals that were impressive when visible and the 1 bad ass fight scene.

This movie gets a 5.5/10, barely making the cut of acknowledgeable as a film.

Training Day

This movie is known because of one amazing actor: Denzel Washington. Most of the time, Denzel is playing a good guy, but in this monster of a film about just how crooked the justice system can be, Denzel proves to be the most skin crawling fucked up and REALISTIC villain ever conceived. The movie follows Jake, a cop who's trying to make it into a specialized DEA Unit, played by Ethan Hawke. He shadows the leader of the team, a very shady and mean Alonzo, played by the Oscar winning Denzel.

The movie, in all honesty, would be just any other typical crime thriller were it not for the amazing acting from both Hawke and Washington. The dialog is well written and the film is well shot. But, how much the audience learns to not only LOATHE Alonzo, but also pity him in some minuscule backhanded way is what makes this movie truly unique.

It's intense and breathtaking and one of those films where you look at the person next to you when the credits start to roll and say "....wow...."

Definitely worth watching many times over

9/10

What this shit is....

If you're on here, you probably know me. So you know that I live for 4 things. My family, food (candy), music, and MOVIES! If you want rants about the first 3, then talk to me. But if you want to hear about the movies I watch (which is a lot of movies) and you want to know what I think of them, read this site.

We'll start with tonight.

Easy Virtue

Jessica Biel, Colin Firth

7.5/10

Good movie. Was well written with clever lines and well placed puns. The humor was well done. The plot was a little bit dramatic, but I guess it fits the whole 20's thing. Jessica Biel did a good job with the character, who was sexy, witty, charming, but still somehow easy to relate to and humble. Colin Firth was a bad ass as always. The mother in law (Kristin Scott Thomas) was an awesome villain with clever lines and a well placed execution. While kind of campy and overly dramatic at points, the movie was entertaining and worth the watch.